On page 156 the book states, "Rather than claim our experience to be The Truth, we need to understand that our experience, while certainly true for us, is not necessarily true for anyone else, especially for our opponents." It then goes on to state, "In this way, nonmathematical truths are rarely absolute and invariant, but relative and able to change with small shifts or relations in the personal frame of reference of the observer and their relationship to what they are observing."
This spoke to me because nearly everytime conflict arises, both sides view themselves as being "the truth," and if, during conflict, we adopted the above viewpoint, it would lead to much more civilized handling of the matter. I know that I personally have fallen victim to the mentality that "I am right, therefore, you are wrong" and most of the time both people are right due to their own personal experiences. I am hoping that armed with the above quotes and the knowledge provided from the book that I can cease to use that mentality and approach conflict from a more open-minded frame of reference.
There were several parts of this chapter that I really enjoyed. The first one being the one that is mentioned above, The Truth in Conflict. On page 157 where is talks about shifting from debating over the conflict but moving toward dialogue that will satisfy everyone's interest. I think that people get so caught up in I am right that they forget to look at the other possibilities. When if they can just stop listen and try to understand where the other person is coming from, and then move to not such a defensive conversation but one where both parties are being heard.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed the suggestions on page 163 for questioning your opponent on their position. As I was reading these suggestions, I kept thinking that these might help me with different situations that may arise in school.