Strategies: One and Two

Strategy One: Change the Culture and Context of Conflict

The idea of responding to conflict with collaboration really interested me. In the book it stated that responding with collaboration produces the best and most satisfying results. Usually when conflict arises, people tend to portray behaviors of avoidance, accomodation, aggression, compromise, and collaboration. Out of the five behaviors, personally I can relate to all of them. I like how the book describes collaborting in conflict. " It is far more difficult to collaborate during conflict because it takes strength to become vulnerable...it is the most effective way of ending your conflict completely and starting on a path to transformation."
I related this idea of collaboration to my role as the coach of my cheerleading team. Conflict arises almost weekly with the cheerleaders. Being the leader of the team, I need to be versatile and respectful of the wishes and concerns of the team. When conflict does occur, if I could present to the team how to work together collaboratively to find the most satisfying resolution, then conflicts would be easier to work with. Relaying the message that conflict can be a positive experience may shock some of the cheerleaders on the team that have a negative outlook. If I can positively focus on fully resolving an issue at hand instead of making an accomodation for a temporary solution, then I think the team will learn how to collaborate during conflict resolutions.

Strategy Two: Listen Actively, Empathetically, and Responsively

"Committed listening is a reflection of the openness of our hearts and minds, our willingness to act on what we hear, and our integrity in the face of answers we do not like."

One thing I am a victim of is not listening to what is important to the speaker. I often catch myself listening for only what I want to hear and thinking about what I will be commenting on. In my opinion, I think that I am being very disrespectful when I do this, so I try to focus on what the speaker is saying, and by that time the speaker is looking to me for a response. I get side tracked very easily and therefore I miss the most important message the speaker is trying to get across. Knowing this about myself, the committed listener section in strategy two engaged me. "Effective leadership is always a result of committed listening." This is important to me because I am currently in a leadership role. I need to learn how to listen effectively to the speaker in front of me. I need to listen to not only what is being said, but also to the underlying intention of the message presented.