Strategy 3

·         Recognize that the expressing intense emotions can be constructive or destructive, pleasurable or painful, positive or negative. 

When I read this chapter I thought about the emotions many teachers have when speaking with the principal.  How they feel when discussing their PDAS, students with behavior problems, and asking for time off.  Being able to recognize their emotions and defuse the negative emotions will help me to become a great principal.   

Strategy 2

·         Effective Communication for Listeners: Let go of your own ideas, roles, and agendas and try to understand what the other person is saying; Search behind the words for the other person’s meaning, especially if he or she disagrees with you; Respond respectfully and nondefensively, acknowledging and addressing the other person’s concerns first.

I must work on this strategy because my dad drilled; scan your surroundings at all time.  Therefore, I have a hard time looking at the person I'm talking to the entire time.  I am always scanning my surrounding so no one will catch me off my guard. 

Strategy 1

Cultures of conflict are shaped in and by our experiences.  Experience shape our capacity to ask questions, alter how we see our opponents and ourselves, what is acceptable and not.

When I read this statement my mind jumped to the past.  My mind played a conversation that my ex-best friend and I had over and over again.   I came to the conclusion that the statement listed above is true.  October the 5th was her birthday but I couldn't bring myself to call her because of the past conversation that ended our friendship.  Therefore, that conversation shaped my opinion that our friendship would be over forever. 

Strategy 4

It states in the book that each deeper layer of the iceberg of conflict represents something that does not appear on its surface, yet adds weight immobility, and hidden meaning to our arguments when we are in conflict.The author then goes on to say that when we go deep enough and do not become stuck on the surface, we can experience genuine empathy and awareness of our interconnection with the other person, even the one who is upsetting us. I understand this because when I am in a conflict with someone, if I have said something hurtful, I start to think well, "what if that person had said that to me? how would I feel?" I really do think that we can all connect with each and every person on some level even the ones we are having a conflict with. If we look past the conflict and dig deeper we will all realize that we are all human beings with real feelings, and we do have common feelings. We are all connected.

Strategy 3

I thought it was interesting to learn that stress really does help play a part in people contracting diseases. I am glad to have learned the by relaxing and letting go of our fear of expressing emotions, we increase our opportunities for learning,problem solving,resolution, transformation, and healing.

Strategy 2

As I was reading strategy 2 and I came to the phrases for miscommunication, I thought to myself, "Wow, I say over half of these things to my husband on a daily basis." I then started thinking that it is very important to not talk to people in these ways because often times, people may think that you are prying or ordering them around. My favorite miscommunication phrase that I am famous for using is the interfering one. I have made myself a promise to stop using these phrases and to try to find other ways of putting my ideas in a more understanding, helping manner.

Strategy 1 Change the Culture and Context of Conflict

I'm fascinated with the idea of looking at conflict as opportunity. If we do look at conflict as opportunity, it definitely will have the effect of solving problems for good and help us develop better relationships with our coworkers. I think that often we do use the metaphors and language of war to describe our conflicts. It has never occurred to me that changing this language would turn conflict into productive discussion.