:)

I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday season! I had a wonderful time getting to know each of you and I wish you all the best of luck in the future! Thank you Dr. Burger for being such an amazing professor! :)

Getting to Yes...

My interests are...

I - - THE PROBLEM:
Don't Bargain Over Positions
Page 4 - - Any method of negotiation may be judged by three criteria:  1.  Produce a wise agreement, if possible.  2.  Be efficient.  3.  Improve or not damage the relationship between the parties. 

II - - THE METHOD:
Separate the People from the Problem
Page 21 - - The parties need to be committed and psychologically prepared to solve problems.  Base the relationship on accurate perceptions, clear communication, appropriate emotions, and a foward-looking, purposive outlook. 

Focus on Interests, Not Positions
Pages 40, 41, and 48 - - Interests define the problem.  Desires and concerns are interests.  The most powerful interests are basic human needs such as security, economic well-being, a sense of belonging, recognition and control over one's life.  If the basic needs are met on both sides, the chances of reaching an agreement increases.

Invent Options for Mutual Gain
Page 57 - - Four obstacles that inhibit the invention of options:  1. premature judgment; 2. searching for a single answer; 3. the assumption of a fixed pie; and 4. thinking that "solving their problem is their problem."

Page 60 - - Four steps to take to invent options for mutual gain:  1. separate the act of inventing options from the act of judging them; 2. broaden the options on the table instead of looking for a single answer; 3. search for mutual gains; and 4. invent ways of making their decisions easy.

Page 68 - - The Circle Chart for inventing options:  1. Define the problem; 2. Analyze the problem; 3. Strategies or approaches to fix the problem; and 4. Take action, fix the problems.

Insist on Using Objective Criteria
Page 88 - - Three points to remember when discussing objectives with the other side:  1. Frame each issue as a joint search for objective criteria; 2. Reason and be open to reason as to which standards are most appropriate and how they should be applied; and 3. Never yield to pressure, only to principle.

On a personal note, this book could be used in place of hiring an attorney for some conflicts.  If the conflicting parties remain civil towards each other, respond respectfully, and negotiate in a fair manner; then each member could walk away happy or at least, content.

Personal Knowledge Base

Getting To Yes

·         Part I: The Problem

The biggest thing that stood out to me in this first section was that “Arguing over positions is inefficient.”  Everyone has their own position, on everything.  It is likely not going to be changed easily.  Our positions that we have are ingrained in our personal experiences and how we were raised.  While in the workplace, this piece of advice is vital to remember.  We all have a job to do, and we should all have the same common goal in mind.  Just because someone has a different path to reaching that goal, does not mean the path is wrong.

·         Part II: The Method

The thing that I want to remember most from this section is to “separate the people from the problem.”  This is often very difficult to remember.  I know that I often struggle with this in the workplace.  Just because someone is being difficult or has a different opinion, it does not mean that the person is difficult or the problem.  It means that their behavior may be causing a problem, but the person is not the problem.

·         Part III: Yes, Bu…

I felt the most important piece in this section was on “how do you negotiate about the rules of the game?”  Many times in negotiating, people use dirty tricks in order to get what they want. This is not desirable or fair.  This section of the chapter will be very helpful when this occurs.  I like that it wants you to raise the issue, and negotiate about it. I appreciate that it does not want you to back down from the problem at hand.  If you want to succeed in your career, you can’t be pushed around. You must be willing to stand up for yourself.

Resolving Conflicts at Work

·         Strategy 1:

Our culture of conflict is based on our past experiences, just like the positions we hold onto so passionately.  Every society is different in how they view conflict and how to deal with it.   I think this simple statement is so important to remember in the workplace.  We are not going to be working with the same exact type of person we are.  There would never be any growth or fresh ideas if that were the case.  We will be surrounded by people of different races, from different towns, different religions, etc. So it is so important to remember to fight fair, remember that the way you deal with conflict may be highly offensive to another person.

·         Strategy 2:

I think that active listening is important in every aspect of life, not only when dealing with conflict.  However, I think that it is also the hardest time to remember to actively listen.  We get so caught up in arguing our side of the conflict and wanting to win the argument or conflict.  We tend to only focus on what to say next, instead of actually listening while the other party is speaking.

·         Strategy 3:

I agree that it is important to acknowledge emotions during conflict. But I think that it should be done in a fair and respectful manner.  I think it is important to use “I-words”.  Don’t just attack the other person involved and put the blame on them.  The conflict resolution will happen much quicker if you stay calm, and let the other person know how you feel when he/she has a particular behavior.

·         Strategy 4:

I felt the most important thing to remember from this strategy is the “Iceberg of Conflict.”  The chart makes the idea very easy to remember.  It clearly points out that during conflict there are underlying issues.  Often times some of those issues are from the past conflicts that were never resolved.  This would be a good diagram to make a copy of and keep for future reference.  It would be useful in the workplace.

·         Strategy 5:

This is a very difficult lesson to learn.  I think that in conflict it is very easy to focus on things that do not really matter, such as personality traits.  This only gets in the way of resolving the conflict.  We must focus on the conflict at hand, and work together to resolve it.  Leave the petty stuff out of it.

·         Strategy 6:

I think that at times it is easier for the boss to just look past the difficult behavior than deal with it.  For example, if a person constantly comes into work late, then works hard the entire shift, and often times leaves late; this can cause problems with the other staff.  It is not fair that the one staff member gets to create his own schedule.  By the boss deciding to ignore the difficult behavior, the boss is basically rewarding the tardiness of the staff member.  This cannot happen.  We have to just step up, and deal with the difficult behavior. We have to learn from it and ultimately, stop rewarding it.

·         Strategy 7:

I felt the thing I needed to remember most is to solve problems creatively.  This will be the most effective way of conflict resolution.  In my opinion, since every individual is different, why would all of the conflict resolutions be the same?  What works for one group will likely not work for another.  Tailor the resolution to the problem.  It will have a longer lasting effect on the people involved in the conflict.

·         Strategy 8:

I felt the thing that stood out to me in this section was to “explore resistance.”  We all know that there is going to be resistance in problem solving.  However, in order to prevent problems similar to this in the future; I think looking into the resistance of the negotiation is important.  If we can better understand the position the other side is taking, I think that we could all work better together.  The opponent has to have a valid reason for holding onto their position so strongly, look into finding out what it is.

Strategy Eight

What is Mediation?  A third-person mediator who can assist in communicating  and collaborating with both conflicting parties. 

Why Mediation Works?  Mediation stops people from arguing or decreases the argument.  Mediation is successful because it allows both parties to be aware of the others needs and feelings in a real way and it brings people together instead of dividing them. 

Reaching Closure...  Closure is necessary, even if the conflict is still in existence.  Page 308 reveals that stopping a conflict means to temporarily stop the fight; completion means to settle; and closure means ending the conflict.  To truly come to a closure, the parties will need to go through three steps.  First, be willing to acknowledge your role in the conflict.  Second, be willing to recognize yourself and opponent as a human being.  Third, forgive yourself and opponent. 

Strategy Seven

Conflict Resolution and Consensus Decision-Making:

There are six decision-making processes that individuals, teams, and organizations can choose from to solve problems. 
1.  Notification.  (To give notice of a decision).
2.  Consultation.  (Like a second opinion).
3.  Delegation.  (You make decision and let me know what you decided).
4.  Voting.  (The majority vote wins).
5.  Consensus.  (Willing to "go with the flow").
6.  Unanimity.  (Need to be in 100% agreement).

The choices above can be used to resolve conflict resolution and their usage depends on the situation or conflict.

Strategy Six

There are three ways of defining the conflict.  1.  Identifying the problem as a difficult person.  2.  identifying the problem as a difficult personality.  3.  identifying the problem as a difficult behavior. 

Number 1 refers to the person that we are in conflict with as problem people. 
Number 2 refers to the person that we are in conflict with as having a difficult personality.
Number 3 refers to the person that we are in conflict with as having a difficult behavior. 

Strategies for Changing Difficult Behaviors are surfacing the conflict, coaching, teamwork, process awareness, constructive feedback, problem-solving, shared responsibility, and support for change. 

Strategy Five

This chapter deals with 10 separations and strategies that deal with conflicts.  I want to highlight separate emotion from negotiation.  We are emotional beings so when we suppress our emotions, they do not disappear, they only hide in our conscious.  Then we are distracted and cannot find solutions to our problems because of our suppressed emotions.   The main goals in emotional processing and conflict resolution are to express your emotions to your opponent and know that they are heard.  Then emotional healing has begun and an agreement can be made.  The questions listed on page 183 will help identify the emotional obstacles in the conflict.